Star VS The Consequences of Teenage Pregnancy
by AwesomeZoosnuck26
Summary: STAR BUTTERFLY and MARCO DIAZ have just cleaved their universes together, causing mass genocide and destruction due to TWO FUCKING WORLDS COLLIDING. As usual they completely disregard all human life around them to focus on their romantic troubles. But then.. a SCANDAL! STAR is pregnant with GLOSSARYKS child, Uranus, and MARCO and TOM go on an adventure of gay romance. Janna is ape.


season 5 episode 1

right here right now

if we make it good enough the entire show comes back for a fifth season

this is real

omgomg

ok um first off is this carrying on or is it in the future where uranus exists

hmmmmmmm

okay okay

idea

the episode starts with star

shes like

i dunno 31

shes holding a little baba

the baba looks like

danny devito

aged down

a lot

she has little shapes on her cheeks

its

:100:

star touches her wee baba

"i will call u"

"uranus"

then she WAKES UP

SHES A KID AGAIN

IT WAS A DREAM

PRECIDITNTING THE FUTURE

SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AND EVERYONES DYING STILL

WHAT DO

SHE RUN 2 MARCO WHILE THE DESTRUCTION CONTINUES AROUND HER

9EO9LE ARE SCREAMING AND BURNING

9EO9LE ARE SHOOTING EACHOTHER

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

"MARCO!"

'yes storb' he says while si99ing a99le juice and not caring about anything going on around him because he has a girlfriend

"what do u fink of the name uranus for our babi"

'um storb we're 15'

she hisses and gets u9set

"um YEAH BUT WE LOVE EACHOTHER?"

"do u not evn CARE ABOUT OUR BABI?"

'storb ur bein irrational 9ls sit down'

'y r u so stressed u hav nufin to worry about ily'

9eo9le are literally being ri99ed a9art and bombs are going off

she runs off in a huff to cause unnecessary drama

omggg

star runs rlly rly fast

she accidentally steps on janna's ded corpse

"o no!"

"janna is ded :ccc"

"she was so kewl and epic an edgy im rlly sad"

janna gets up immediately

shes wearing a scary monster mask

'jk'

"OMG JANNA UR SILLY!"

star laughs so hard she starts wheezing for like 3 minutes

everyone is dying around her but its okay

janna keeps making eyeball jokes its FINE

the head of an innocent child rolls by

it stops at jannas feet

'haha woah'

'this reminds me of'

'um'

'edgy eyeball'

stars face turns red and tears stream down her face from laughter

she cant speak

shes doubled over on the ground

its too funny

"o janna ur jus so hilarious"!

(one sec im gonna get weetabix)

(mkmk)

ok hola

'haha yes I am so quirky'

'death'

she cartwheels away

"what a cool 9erson uwu"

star starts screeching

"OMG ITS MY BEST FRIEND!1"

"OSCAR?!"

his cor9se is under a large truck

his brain has been smushed against the ground on front of him

however his eyes are still s9arkling and beautiful

"kee9 on bein handsome buddy uwu"

star tries to summon cloudly and then realises she cant

she sits down and cries for a bit

"wth..."

"i cant do anyfin..."

"i canr do magic an nao marco doesnt even want 2 have a child named uranus with me"

"was dis evn worth it?"

star cries rlly rly fucken hard

its so sad

suddenly ponyhead flies in

she just starts screaming

its a deafening tone

"omggg ponyhed ur rite!"

"the real magic is teh frens we made along teh way!"

star grabs ponyhead and strangles her

the little sparkles that make ponyhead fly come out

"MAGIC!"

star starts desperately licking up the magic sparkles

she now has enough magic for ONE (1) SPELL

"i must put dis to good use..."

she points her hand at her tum tum

"MAGIC RAINBOW BABY EXPLOSION"

shes now 8 months gregnant

marcod does a cartwheel and appears

'star wtf did u do'

"MARCO IM HAVIN URANUS"

"WHETHER U LIEK IT OR NOT"

she does a big "HARUMPH" and starts to walk away

'wtf am I su99osed to tell my 9arents' marco whis9ers to himself, defeated

'im not even the father'

suddenly a hand gently touches marcos shoulder

its tom

'tom d-did you hear all that'

"marco its ok buddy"

"don't worry you can get through dis"

they stare into eachothers eyes

theres a lot of tension

they bro hug and 9lay smash to try and forget about the casual teenage 9regnancy

cut to star

"OK DIS IS FINE."

"Uranus is guna b so bootiful..."

"my darlin gorl :')"

"omg she an meteora can be frens!"

"i should totally go see ecli9sa an talk abt babies n stuff uwu"

she naruto runs to the monster tem9le

it now sits on the remains of a suburban neighbourhood

"what a nice area 2 start a family" she thinks to herself

but then...

she o9ens the door to the tem9le...

and sees...

TOFEVEVEVE!1

!

star screams really loud

"TOVFEFE WHAT ARE U DOIN HERE"

toffee adjusts his tie

'well u see star'

'i smelled somethin with my big lizard nostrils'

'SOMEONE is usin magic'

'and um'

'i dun liek it'

he eats a fly off the wall

"um"

star starts sweating RLLY HARD

"well um"

"idk anything"

"abt magic"

"def"

toffee squints

'well um'

'how did u get gregnant HM?'

he smiles a big grin

"i um"

"had sex with a penis"

"and it"

"went"

"and made a baby"

"the end"

toffee squints

he never had sex ed so hes very confused

'i mean alright if u say so'

'but im WATCHIN U'

he slithers onto the wall and sits there

its his home

star sweats a lot because toffee is just sitting there staring at her as she walks out the room

"dat was a close one.." she thinks to herself

star makes her way to ecli9sas room

"ECLI9SA!"

She kicks down the door because she doesnt value other 9eo9les 9rivacy

globgor is 9laying farmville ha99ily

"cli9so i need 2 talk 2 u!"

'o STAR!'

'what is it darling?'

meteora is dangling from the ceiling and frothing at the mouth

"i need advice from a mother..."

"im 9regnananat!"

DUNDUNDUNN

everyone screams

eclipsa does a big flipsa

she lands in fron of star

'o STAR!'

'i cant beleve dis am so happi c:'

"eclinspa pls"

"how do i raise a bb"

eclsipa starts laughing

'o STAR!'

'as a muther i hav but one piece of advice 4 u'

'wait here'

eclipsa runs into her closet

she comes back and hands star a coat hanger

'c:'

star runs

MEANWHILE

tom and marco are still playing smash

'so um marco'

'wut r u gonna do abt dis baby ting'

marco groans

"idk man"

"i guess i have to be a babydaddy u kno"

'but marco'

'i can help you'

'ill help u raise ur daughter'

'itll be like two and a half men'

'we can be two daddies'

'raising our beautiful daughter'

'we live happily together'

'we're in love'

'forever'

"um"

"what"

tom sweats

'n-nothing'

'um'

'i gtg'

tom grabs his nintendo switch and leaps out the window

"dat was odd..."

marco clutches his chest

"..."

"but maybe that wasn't so ba-"

star suddenly crashes in and fly kicks him

'MARCO WHICH STATE DO WE LIVE IN'

"um idk if states exist anymore"

'well ecli9sa wants me 2 abort uranus an i don't want to :('

"um"

"storb dis makes me uncomfortable"

"y do u evn want a baby ur 15"

"an its not even MY baboo its urs"

"i dont even WANT A BABOO!"

"I WANT 2 BE FRE N 9LAI SMASH N JACK OFF!"

"NOT RAISE A CHILD!"

'm-marco ur so mean!'

'uranus is a REAL CHILD AN I AM KEE9IN HER'

'AN IF...AN IF I HAV 2 RAISE HER WIFOUT U...'

'SO BE IT!'

star cries and runs off

marco falls to his knees

"did we jus break u9 or um"

"idk"

he decides to visit the butterfly family to ex9lain that their teenage daughter is 8 months 9regnant

"oh boy this is gonna suck!"

laugh track

marco naruto runs into butterfly castle

only half of it is there

it collided with a mcdonalds so now its half castle half mcdonalds

"henlo queen moon?"

moon is on the ground

face down

river is on top her wearing his bear suit

its been 5 months

his bear suit is all moldy and sweaty and rotten

"MARCO!"

river jumps up and punches marco in the bals

'GOOD TO SEE YOU MY BOY!' he screams

"um hi river"

"is moon okay?"

'oh YES SHES QUITE ALRIGHT'

'WE WERE JUST HORSING AROUND AND SHE UM'

'WELL SHES NAPPING IM SURE'

'ANYWAYS HOW CAN I HELP YOU'

"um"

"storb is pregante"

river stops

his eyes go big and his pupils dilate

his bear suit immediately rots and falls off his body entirely

his head rotates 360 degrees

his eyes start bleeding

his nipples start bleeding

'MARCO...'

'DID U...'

'EFF MY DAUGHTER... :C'

"wait no river i didnt mean-"

river throws a chair at marco and breaks his spine

'HOW DARE U!'

'I TRUSTED U 2 LOOK AFTER MI DOTER :C'

"waIT NO 9LEASE LET ME EX9LAIN-"

river lea9ed into the air and crashed down onto marcos body

'ani last words?'

"i-i didn't do it"

"i think storb used magic"

'o'

'sry haha jus a misunderstanding'

river grabs marco by his hand and 9ulls him u9

'go and fetch my favourite child for me marco!

'be a good lad!'

river sla9s him on the back and lets out a hearty laugh

"um t-thanks"

marco wobbles along and tries not to fall a9art

he comes across janna on the way

"hey janna have you seen star anywhere?"

he's fine now because he magically healed

he did it before with his big stab wound why not now

janna screams like an a9e and starts beating her hands against her chest

she jum9s around and swings on him and 9oints into the distance

star is whee9ing and 9unching things

"um thx"

marco runs at 2000mph at star and picks her up

"MARCO WTF"

"IM TRYING TO RAISE MY BABEY AND ALSO CRY"

'STAR WE HAV 2 GO TALK TO UR DAD OR HE'LL BEAT ME UP AGAIN'

"UM OK WUTEVER -W-"

starco and mar run rlly fast back to mcdonalds castle

marco kicks down the door

'RIVER'

moon's body is gone now

theres a mysterious dark stain where she was before

"'MARCO'"

"'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE MY BOY'"

'um'

'you told me to get star remember'

"'OH YES'"

river is bathing in a vat of liquid corn

or it was liquid

it solidified over time

hes trapped

"hello dad"

star looks all moody and edgy

she kicks a rock because shes angry

'okay well um'

'i'll leave you two to this'

'ill just go um'

'stand'

a dragoncycle flies down and steals marco

"oh"

"okay anyways"

'dad dis is who i want to be!'

'an u cant change dat so dun evn tri'

'dis is 4 teh gr8ter good'

'uranus is going 2 save teh universe...'

'i can feel it!'

"doghter"

"do u evn KNOW WHAT UVE DONE?"

'um'

"dOGHTER U CREATED HER USIN MAGIQUE..."

"DAT MEANS..."

"GLOSSARYK IS THE FATHER!"

'!'

star screams and starts running around flailing her arms

'WTH BUT HES GRUSS AND OLD AN HAS WEIRD KNEES!'

'I THOT HE WAS DED?'

"i am vry disa99ointed in u"

river eats his way out of the corn bath

he grabs moons sus9iciously flo99y body and jum9s out of the window

'u no wot dis dusn change anyfin'

'dun wry uranus, ur daddy is a disgustin magical being who is also dead but i wil raise u well'

'jus u an me'

'winnin batles til teh break of dawn'

the mcdonalds em9loyee next door cla9s

she sna9s his neck

'don't treat me like a child im a strong women'

star runs out of the castle

she finds marcos destroyed body

he was dropped by the dragoncycle

's-star...?'

"marco!"

she puts a bandaid on him

hes okay

"marco im sry..."

"u were rite the baby isnt urs"

"its glossarycks..."

"im sry 4 tryin to make u raise uranus"

star walks away all sad

sad music is playing

sadness

'W8 STOR'

star turns her neck 180 degrees

marco is standing all tall and proud

he has a cape

'i wanna raise uranus'

'together'

'she will be'

'ouranus'

star looks at marco

she bursts into tears

she picks him and hugs him

really really really tight

so tight that her baby belly gets smooshed against him

uranus gets crushed

"o"

"um"

"teehee"

"alls well that ends well i guess uwu"

laugh track

the camera 9ans across the destroyed city

tom is crying in his room

he's got 9ictures of marco everywhere

janna is living with a9es

9onyhead was ran over by a dragoncycle

uranus is dead

new outro 9lays

its a montage of star and marco dancing on the cor9ses of all the 9eo9le they indirectly killed

amazing

great e9isode

star has been renewed for 5 more seasons

the finale of the show introduces a new villain and kills them off in 5 minutes

also mina comes back but then gets shot in the head by an actual human with a real gun

yes

its a little boy

"DADDY DADDY LOOK WHAT I SHOT!"

"ITS AN ANIME GIRL!"

'Aw my little man you're such a good shot, just like me :')

yes

he hangs her up on the wall

there's a little inscription underneath

"sailor moon or something idk"


End file.
